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| This
is not simply a book
about how to quit smoking.
It is, however, a fully
documented diary account
of how I did it. It
is an honest, detailed
and open account, covering
my change in attitude
towards it, the nerve
jangling anxiety of
having to confront it,
the daunting realisation
of having to decide
on the moment to stop,
the mind numbing turmoil
at the point at which
I did so, and on through
the day to day events,
feelings and methods
employed to cope with
it. |
| The
beginning of the diary
was written as it happened,
almost in real-time,
as it were. The reason
being that I felt this
was one of the most
important and crucial
times and would benefit
from as much input as
I could give it, from
the fears and anxieties,
to the doubts and indecision,
and the basic nitty-gritty
and emotional honesty
of the whole situation.
And, looking back now,
I'm glad it was. |
| While
fairly basic and gritty
in style, it has been
left unedited (apart
from the correction
of repeats and spolling
mistoikes, of which
there were far more
than I'd like to admit).
The reason for this
is that I felt it was
important it was a true
reflection of exactly
what happened; a nuts
and bolts, warts and
all account. It was
written with an honesty
and openness only achievable
with the knowledge that,
at any time, should
I fail and resume smoking,
it could simply be consigned
to the recycle bin,
unobserved, with myself
being the only witness
to a personal failure. |
| Beginning
with a personal view
of my involvement with
smoking, and where it
all started for me,
it touches briefly on
some of the contributory
factors that I believe
brought me to the point
I decided that I should
attempt to quit. This
collectively, though
not specifically, will,
I have no doubt, ring
bells of familiarity
with anyone contemplating
doing the same, as will
my experiences chronicled
in the rest of this
book. |
| It
is a journey of a lifetime,
certainly one of the
most fundamentally satisfying
of my life. It is a
roller coaster ride
of emotions and experiences,
starting with the initial
dread of the very notion
of contemplating the
unthinkable, having
almost never known a
glass of wine, a pint
of beer, a meal or indeed
an hour of the day that
wasn't accompanied by
a cigarette. Then through
the rather gruelling
struggle with the outright
fear, anxiety, self-doubt,
irritation and surprise,
then on to the joy and
eventually, euphoric
sense of achievement
and utter pride at having
succeeded. |
| One
of the threads running
through the book is
the repeated description
of the changing, the
heightening and eventual
diminishing craving
and desire to smoke.
It starts with a description
of this and the satisfaction
gained by the lighting
of a cigarette, something
very familiar to all
smokers, but probably
never consciously considered.
Then, once the last
cigarette had been extinguished
and the battle commenced,
as it were, the description
is of the complete preoccupation
and distraction, and
the almost irresistible
desire to put an end
to the unpleasantness,
knowing that just one
cigarette would do it.
Eventually, as the battle
is won, the craving
is likened to an irritating
tune I simply can't
get out of my head,
leading on to it being
just a residual memory,
something very unfamiliar
to all smokers, but
increasingly desirable. |
| Another
aspect covered, which
is also familiar to
all smokers is the desire
to be given the secret;
the magic word or formula
of how to quit. We all
ask the same questions
of ex-smokers in our
search, but know, deep
down, that it doesn't
exist. We all view ex-smokers
as possessing a gift
that we would give our
eyeteeth to own. This
gift is the ability
not to be influenced
by the desire to smoke
and to be able to claim
the complete absence
of any craving, but
see it, for the most
part, as unattainable,
even inconceivable,
often actually doubting
its very existence. |
| This
book covers the journey
through the asking of
these questions, doubting
the validity of some
of the answers; the
somewhat difficult admission
of the unacceptable
control smoking has
over me, and my growing
resentment of it. It
describes the preparation
leading up to and finally
finding the courage
to choose the point
at which I would attempt
to quit and the bold
gesture of intent, the
destruction of all cigarettes
and smoking related
items. |
| It
contains, extremely
open and honest, descriptions
of the somewhat eventful
and emotional journey
of discovery. The initial
gruelling experiences
and discomfort, the
doubts and anxieties,
how they were prepared
for, where possible,
and handled, are accounted
extremely candidly,
and often as they happened. |
| The
whole spectrum of emotions
and events are covered,
from the initial, very
difficult stages, through
to the rather shocking
surprise which almost
spelt failure. There
is analysis of the positives
and negatives for the
purpose of learning
how to handle the different
aspects as they arise
again and again, and
the highlighting of
the key elements seen
as being beneficial
in my ongoing struggle. |
| The
book concentrates on
the lead up to quitting,
then the diary of the
day to day struggle,
with emphasis on the
first few weeks. It
then goes on to the
gradual, and, at first,
somewhat sceptical realisation
that quitting was actually
achievable. It then
describes the eventual
change in me to the
sheer pleasure gleaned
from gaining a degree
of control and being
able to view and describe
the whole experience
from a far broader perspective,
with my rapidly evolving
change in attitude. |
| The
book describes the amazing,
if gradual, transformation
from being knotted with
fear, doubt and trepidation,
to slight self indulgence
at being released from
the suppressing routine
of smoking. It then
goes on to the gathering
and even self perpetuating
sense of achievement
at being in full possession
of what, for more than
twenty years, I doubted
even existed - the dream
come true, becoming
an ex-smoker, knowing
I will never smoke again
as long as I live. And
realising that, all
the time, the secret
was there within me.
All I needed to do was
believe in myself and
that I had what it took. |
| The
book is concluded with
a brief description
of how I feel exactly
one year to the day,
then by the chapter
called 'Summary and
Conclusion,' which was
actually completed more
than three years later,
where I look back at
the experience as the
'ex-smoker' and touch
on what succeeding in
quitting means to me.
I also talk directly
to the reader and encourage
them to do the same.
I promise there will
be no regrets, and that
all the unpleasantness
encountered while quitting
is unequivocally worth
it. I state that I have
succeeded in quitting
so I have absolutely
nothing to gain or lose
by not being completely
honest about how I did
it and what it means
to me. |
| It
is hoped that by being
brutally honest and
open in the diary, it
will forearm anyone
who follows in my footsteps
by giving them a glimpse
into the near future.
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| The
experiences documented
in this book may not
be identically encountered
by the reader, but could
be taken as a kind of
template or guideline
as to what to expect. |
| It
will undoubtedly enlighten
any smoker who reads
it. I certainly wished
someone had written
something like this
when I was contemplating
quitting. |
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